Monday, January 08, 2007

Deal or no deal summarised and destroyed.

If you live in a country with too much money and a generally stupid population you might have noticed "Deal or no deal" on television. The basic format is that 22 contestants line up, one is selected and they have a sum of money in their box between 0.01p to £250000. They then chose some of the other 21 boxes to be removed and their rate of success determines the amount offered by the "banker".

When it first arrived, I will confess, for a short time I was interested in it. There are moments of tension and the banker is a clever character. As we enter 2007 however its clear how boring it has become. The format is repetitive and despite assurances by Noel Edmunds to the contrary, the game does not require skill. So now someone has actually won the jackpot its time to kill the show. Noel should learn his lesson from his time at the BBC and move on before he becomes boring, assuming he isn't already.

I generally find it hard to make the distinction between what is boring and what is not on television. Broadly speaking though I have a simple rule: length (In minutes) X level of chat (out of 1(best) to 10(worst)) / quality (1(worst) to 10 (best)). The lower the score the better.

_____ = Program boredom score.

For example:

The Simpsons: lasts 30(20) minutes .
It has a lot of chat, but a lot of events and actions also so I'd give it a 6.
The quality of unseen episodes is normally 10, but repeats are only worth an 8

So 30 x 6 = 180 / 8 = 22.5 (One of the best scores)

Celebrity Big Brother: lasts 60 minutes
It has almost entirely chat so I'd give it a 10
The quality of the show is awful so I'd score it a 2

So 60 x 10 = 600 / 2 = 300 (One of the worst scores possible)

Coincidentally these shows are all on the same channel at the moment, unless you pay extra for your television, in which case you are probably very boring indeed.

So back to Deal or No Deal.
It lasts 45 or 60 minutes
It has mostly chat so 8/10
The quality of the show has steadily declined so 3/10

45 x 8 = 360 / 3 = 120

On my scale, anything above 100 is not worth watching.

Proof! Simply apply the same formula to any show and, if like me you are struggling to differentiate between boring television content, you can have a mathematical formula tell you the answer. Eureka!

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